A horrific look at marketing towards children
Written by BUNKWAA
Although invisible to the eye, they can be found between the pages of children’s magazines or emitted from breakfast cereal commercials. They are the non-living particles that infect cells in a biological organism. Only by invading and controlling cells can they reproduce, as they lack the necessary genitalia. As marketing vulture and cult leader, Keith Aims mentioned in his book Life Styles of the Young & How to Exploit Them:
“This is the method whereby people conform to social norms, a process that makes possible a lasting society and the spread of its culture between generations, and is now primarily focused on how children are socialized as consumers.” And Keith would know, as he can eat five children in one sitting.
In a study published earlier this year, in Baby Shakers & Movers Magazine, researchers found that Saturday morning cartoons make the perfect host. The data collected states that: “because cartoons are able to, masquerade as something they’re not, they are able to avoid being rejected by a child’s immunity to advertising. Children are being carpet bombed with commercials at a disturbing rate and are totally unaware of it. Creating clever and deceptive half hour TV programming based around a product can navigate around a whole generation’s higher I.Q and market savoir-faire“.
Keith is known in the industry as a marketing visionary and Anti-Christ. When it comes to the four Ps of marketing, Price, Product, Place, Promotion, Keith adds a fifth: Prick. Has built a reputation as a ruthless businessman and ritual child killer and has become known to many as Brother Grimm. By playing on the insecurities of children, Keith says, “you can manipulate their deep social craving. This has played key in my marketing techniques. When it comes to cowboys and Indians, I’m a Billy the Kid, when it comes to Doctors and nurses, I’m the Jekyll & Hyde.” The same applies when it comes to snakes and ladders; he’s the anaconda of the advertising world.
Keith has taken advantage of the fact that parents can’t always be there for their children. He calls it his guilt for profit program, no child left behind. This can be seen in the latest product to come out of his agency – Trojan Horsies™. Continue reading “JUNK – EATING SATURDAY MORNING BREAKFAST CARTOONS”